


One more time

by Ihni



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parallels, Poetry, Rhymes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-29 23:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13937895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni/pseuds/Ihni
Summary: Exploring the parallels between the scene where Neil makes Billy repeat "Yes sir", and the one where Max makes him repeat "I understand".





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [pestilence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639834) by [palinopsia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palinopsia/pseuds/palinopsia). 



He backs me into a wall  
I try not to move at all  
Hold my breath (my stomach’s churning)  
There’s a slap; my face is burning

I am still, my throat is bared  
(My heart’s beating fast, _I’m scared_ )  
He is pointing at me, “Mister,  
You’ll go out and find your sister”

And like any altercation  
It ends with humiliation:  
“Ain’t that right?” His voice is rough  
(confirming _once_ won’t be enough)

“Yes sir”, I say, filled with fear  
He leans closer, taps his ear  
“Sorry, son, I couldn’t hear you”  
“Yes sir!” (I don’t _want to_ fear you)

He leaves, and I breathe again  
( _Do not_ cry, ignore the pain)  
Slaps and punches, shoves and kicks  
Nothing like that ever sticks

But for it to hurt _inside_  
He knows to attack my pride:  
Makes me sorry for my crime  
Makes me say it _one more time_

(It’s enough to make me cry  
Make me wish that I would die  
Helplessness is in my soul;  
there’s nothing I can control)

*

Later on, I’m on the floor  
Lost again (who’s keeping score?)  
There’s a bat in Max’s hands  
And a loud crack when it lands

I have scared her; she’ll repay it  
“Say you understand! Just say it!”  
I croak out “I understand”  
But that’s not all she has planned:

“What?!” she yells ( _don’t make me do it_ )  
(Twice today, I won’t live through it)  
I am punished, most sublime  
As I say it _one more time_

(As I black out, it’s my prayer  
That I will _stay unaware;_  
Not wake up and feel this pain  
Never feel disgrace again)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another little thing that kinda belongs within that scene, but that is a different poem entirely, that I had forgotten that I'd written.

He’s on the floor, ‘cause he fell, _he fell_  
Wincing at hearing her yell, _her yell_  
There is a bat – he can’t stay it  
“Say that you understand! Say it!”  
“I understand” (this is hell, _is hell_ ) 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about this, okay? A LOT OF FEELINGS. Like, Billy is an asshole, yes, who almost murdered Steve just then, and Max definitely deserved to get her moment there and I'm glad for her, really I am. But from Billy's POV, that scene is fucking painful, because I'm not entirely sure that he looked up from that floor and saw/heard Max, I think that maybe he looked up and saw/heard Neil, because of the humiliation of having to repeat himself, and him just giving in to it (as he always have to do).
> 
> I just. It hurt.
> 
> Somewhat inspired by palinopsia's "pestilence", which deals with kinda the same thing, because I was so happy to read that someone else had thought alone these lines, and because that's the best fucking rendition of Billy's character I've ever read (the whole "a sinner once, a sinner twice"-series, you should definitely go read that right the fuck now - sorry for saying "fuck" a lot).
> 
> Also I own nothing relevant, as usual.


End file.
